Make me laugh

[ckbymommy]

So my sister is getting married this weekend in Mississippi and my family was supposed be heading out tomorrow morning to attend. Unfortunately we aren't able to go now, so I am really bummed out.

So here's this weeks game ... tell me a joke, a pun, a silly poem, an observation, whatever you think will make me laugh. At the end of the month (when I was *supposed* to be coming back from vacation) I will randomize a number and the person who posted on that number will receive a coupon for a FREE DAILY DOWNLOAD!!

AND - anyone who makes me actually laught out loud will receive my silly strinng alpha

[steph]

I have a cute Justin story... does that count! I ashamedly have to admit that Dave and I have what I will term a "potty mouth", and our five year old, Justin, was picking it up. We tried punishing him, washing his mouth out with soap, you name it, we tried it! Finally, the other day, I came up with the idea of when Dave and I swear, we put money in a jar and Justin gets to keep, and if he swears, he has to put money in a jar, and we get to keep it. Well... we have been doing this since Tuesday, and we have seventy five cents in our jar from Justin, and he has ten dollars in his jar from us! This is at a quarter for each bad word...LOL!!! Anyway... the funny part was that the other night we were all getting ready for bed and we though Justin was asleep and Dave let a bad word fly, and all of a sudden out of the silence, we hear a little voice saying, "That'll be a quarter, Dad!!" I laughed so hard cause I just couldn't believe I heard it!!! So that's my funny!!! And I am so sad that you can't go, Melanie.... I hope you have a nice weekend any way!!!

Stephanie

[griest]

awww ---so disapointing you can't go. hopefully this will put a smile on your face:

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said, "OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!" The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?" The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete...how much steel!! No, think of another
wish." The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women....know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment....know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'....know how to make them truly happy...."
The genie asked, "Do you want that bridge two lanes or four?"

[twirlyjoy]

lol Steph and griest!! Am really sorry you can't go at the weekend Melanie - you'll just have to do lots of scrapping to make up for it!

Here's a funny story about Lucie and one of her classmates which I thought was funny/cute!Two years ago, Lucie was in Reception year at school, so all of the kids were 4 or 5 years old. One of the little boys went home to his Mum and said "Mum, I'm allergic to girls" to which she replied, "What?? All girls". He said "Well, all of them except Lucie, but she doesn't count"!!!

Am not sure on what grounds Lucie 'doesn't count', although probably cos she will be just as likely to play princesses with the girls as Star wars with the boys!! But, still, it was cute all the same!!

[jonimarony]

Where in Mississippi are they getting married? I'm on the coast. Ok so for my joke... There is a little old lady who is at the dentist. She is nervous so as the dentist is putting on this gloves he thinks if he tells her a joke she will feel better. So the dentist asks her if she knows how they make the rubber gloves. She says no and he tells her that there is a factory with lots and lots of people in it with all different size hands. They put their hands in the melted rubber and when it dries they pull the gloves off. Just as the dentist gets ready to start the old lady starts to laugh. The dentist asks her what's so funny and she says.... I wonder if they make condems the same way.

[ckbymommy]

Cute stories Steph and Joy! Funny joke Kim! Joni, that one did make me laugh out loud!!

Thanks, and keep them coming, you are starting to lift my spirits!

Joni, the one getting married is in South Haven, and another sister is in Byhalia, plus a brother in Olive Branch.

Also, watching Good Morning America a few minutes ago, I see that there are some pretty bad storms right where we would be driving through to get there - and I do believe that there is always a reason for everything .....

[Cherry47]

I loved this one.

[griest]

Keep laughin!

Jack was living in Arizona during a heat wave when the following took place.

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," complained Jack as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money."

[ginabee]

My grandson & I were walking in the yard, talking. He had a Tootsie pop in his mouth. I was telling him about the flowers how they come up from the ground & bloom. He said, "Mimi, I know what will happen if I fall down with my Tootsie pop". I said, "What"? He said, "It will grow a Tootsie pop tree". I laughed so hard at what a child can think up. He was about 4.

[ckbymommy]

My great aunt sent me this one, it made me chuckle .....

Jim and Edna

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the Pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom, pulled Jim out
and brought him to his room. When the hospital director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered that Edna be discharged from the
hospital because she now considered Edna to be mentally stable.

She went to Edna and said, "I have some good news and some bad news. The
good news is that you're being discharged because you responded so rationally to a crisis. By jumping in the pool to save the life of another patient, you displayed sound mindedness. The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in his bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"