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laurynkimberly
11-02-2007, 09:06 AM
This is mainly just venting...but you can give me your take on the subject. So my 21st birthday is on Tuesday (yay but not) and I'm nervous. Back in Freshman year of high school, My uncle died (today) and the funeral was on my birthday. I went to the funeral but skipped everything else to go to school for my birthday. I made a very selfish decision and Ive regretted it ever since. So every year, usually today, I start getting weird about my birthday. Any ideas on what i should do to stop doing this every year?

HollyS
11-02-2007, 10:00 AM
Forgiving yourself is key! No one is perfect and unselfish at all times! One thing you can do is carve out time on your birthday to call your uncle's family and catch up on things or find other ways to honor him. I'm not real good at giving advice so please others chime in....

lillypug34
11-02-2007, 10:15 AM
Stop beating yourself up!! It's ok ... really.
Life is too short to rehash the decisions made in one day, in the spur of the moment, especially at such a young age!
Holly is right, forgive yourself. Celebrate your life on your birthday ...
I'm sure your Uncle would have wanted you to do exactly what you did that day and would want you to cling to the happy/positive memories of him :love-smiley-011:

anitastreet
11-02-2007, 10:33 AM
forgive yourself is the first step..and put it behind you.

one thing I have found helpful is writing a letter to the person who is gone...even though you can't give it to them, sometimes just getting your thoughts together for a letter is really good for healing. (I had a therapist tell me this years ago...and yes, if you can't get by this on by yourself then talk to someone .. a doctor, a therapist, a minister....someone that may be able to help you heal.

I don't feel you did anything wrong..you attended the funeral... you were there so don't beat yourself up about this.

Are you getting grief from family members about this? I hope not...especially as you were oh so young when this happened...and school is important and not always easy to miss ...

((HUGS)) hope you can get past this.

dragonflyscrapper76
11-02-2007, 02:52 PM
I agree, forgive yourself, you may never be able to forget that day...but let's be honest how many adults do selfish things, and you were just a kid!!! It is okay, just know that your Uncle would never want you to feel this way.