View Full Version : dog and cat diary

10-09-2007, 08:34 PM
I found this gem while going through some emails (I just started using Outlook again, wheee!). Made me LOL so I wanted to share. :D

Dog's and Cat's Daily Diary

Excerpts From A Dog's Daily Diary
8:00 a.m. Oh, boy - Dog food - My favorite
9:30 a.m. Oh, boy - A car ride - My favorite
9:40 a.m. Oh, boy - A walk - My favorite
10:30 a.m. Oh, boy - Getting rubbed and petted - My favorite
11:30 a.m. Oh, boy - Dog food - My favorite
Noon Oh, boy - The kids - My favorite
1:00 p.m. Oh, boy - The yard - My favorite
4:00 p.m. Oh, boy - To the park - My favorite
5:00 p.m. Oh, boy - Dog food - My favorite
5:30 p.m. Oh, boy - Pretty Mums - My favorite
6:00 p.m. Oh, boy - Playing ball - My favorite
6:30 a.m. Oh, boy - Watching TV with my master - My favorite
8:30 p.m. Oh, boy - Sleeping in master's bed - My favorite

Excerpts From A Cat's Daily Diary
Day 183 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am
forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the
hope of escape and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the
occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded -- must try this at the top of the
stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I
once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try
this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt
to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear
into their hearts... They only cooed and condescended about what a
good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the
noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my
confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this
is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and snitches. The dog
is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an
informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety
is assured.

But I can wait, it is only a matter of time now...

10-10-2007, 04:13 AM
ROFL!!! That is totally hilarious! Thanks for sharing especially right about now!

10-10-2007, 04:25 AM
this is funny....oh to be a cat or dog

10-10-2007, 04:38 AM
Great one Julie, I read this a long time ago and laughed and I laughed again when I read here. This is one of those that you can't get tired of. Thanks for starting my day with a good laugh.

10-10-2007, 05:16 AM
LOL! That is soooo funny!

10-10-2007, 05:46 AM
LOL! So cute and sooo funny!

10-10-2007, 06:07 AM
seen this before and it cracks me up every time! so true...for both pets :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao: