View Full Version : Good thoughts and prayers needed

07-14-2007, 12:22 PM
I usually don't discuss my family issues on line.
But I am just a mess.
I guess everyone knows, my baby is going to college this fall.
Luckily he is a very bright child, and got a lot of grants and scholarships.

We just need to cover room and board. No problem, right?
I have lots of equity in my house. We'll just take out a home equity loan.
We first went to our bank.
They were just taking forever, but we stuck with them.
Then all of sudden they want us to do a re-fi.
Well, we have a low mortgage rate and did want a re-fi at a higher rate.

So we left them and went to Beneficial. Everything was going great.
The house was appraised, all the paperwork was done...but then the appraisal company wasn't giving Beneficial the appraisal.
Then 2 weeks later, we find out the company won't give it out because, our property is zoned light commercial.
Well, we knew it was, the previous owner had it zoned that way, to rent the house to Doctors or attornies.
We were advised to keep it this way because it would be more valuable in the long run.
Well, banks and mortgage lenders won't give out home equity loans to commercial properties.
I've have checked out every company, even our mortgage company can't help.
So we decided to have it rezoned back to residential,
but... we found out it takes 8 to 10 months and costs between 3000. and 5000.

Well, now Nick goes to college in less than a month. I was counting on the loan to buy
everything he needs for college, plus pay for room and board, and give him some extra cash for necceseities.
We go to oreintation late next week. I'll find out what he needs,
I know one thing is a new tablet laptop, that we have to buy through the school. That alone is 2500.00
I feel like I'm under water and can't breathe. A big hard knot in my stomache.
I could really use some prayers of good fortune, but mostly for strength.
I am a big shaking mess.
Sorry this is so long, and Thanks for listening to me rant.

07-14-2007, 12:52 PM
Hi Mary,

I went through this last year with my DD (she's back this year for year 2) and know exactly what you're going through... You'll definitely be in my prayers and don't worry, it'll all work out fine :)

07-14-2007, 01:16 PM
That's so tough. My parent's weren't able to help me with college at all, financially. I got some grants and scholarships and took out some student loans. I worked too. Sometimes, I had to cut my classes back a bit and work a little more to save for the next semester. I thought it was never going to end. But, somehow it finally did after about 8 years. It was one of the most valuable experiences of my life to get through it without any financial help from my parents. They helped in ways that they could...my Dad would fix my car, and my Mom would send me home with food! My two sisters and two of my brothers have gone through the same thing. Somehow it all works out and I'm definitely a better person for going through the challenge. I'll be praying for you!

07-14-2007, 03:04 PM
It's so horrible when things like this pop up to spoil what should be an exciting, joyful time!

You and Nick do have some other options than just the home equity loan. He can take out student loans which are at a low rate of interest and aren't due until after he finishes college. You could even help him by paying those loans for him later. As Andrea mentioned, he could apply for work-study programs or get a parttime job to help out. If you don't want him to have to deal with any of the finances, you should be able to get a personal loan, like you'd do for a car or boat, with your house as collateral even if you can't get a home equity loan, per se. If you or your husband has a 401(k) plan, most of them have loan provisions as well. And with them, if you borrow the money from your 401(k), you'll be paying the money back to yourself.

I know you're about to lose it right now (I can imagine how I'd feel), but keep calm. It will work out. Talk with the financial aid office at Nick's college ASAP! The folks there deal with these issues every day and will be able to give you loads of advice on where/how to come up with the extra cash.

07-14-2007, 04:12 PM
Talk to someone at the student financial aid office. They have lots of ways to help, and student loans are available at rates that may be better than your equity loan when you get one. They don't have to start re-payment until after graduation, either. That gives you time.

07-14-2007, 04:40 PM
So sorry you are going through this! Take heart - going to the financial aid office is a really good step. My husband got a student loan and it took 10 years to pay it back - but it was so worth it! Our son and daughter-in-law also got student loans and are going to pay them back - I worked in the dorm cafeteria to help with room and board. Just don't get too scared and give up - there are ways!!

07-14-2007, 08:17 PM
I know how tough financial matters are to the heart. I applaud you for wanting to help your son. He is very lucky to have parents that care so much. Hang in there, and vent anytime you want.

Hey, this may sound so wild and crazy, but call Dave Ramsey. We have had some interesting financial twists and turns come up. He has some practical (but at times hard) advice that won't put you strapped (or in nearly as bad a situation) in the future.

07-14-2007, 08:34 PM
I had lots of school loans and a few grants in my LOOOOOONG academic career. There is lots of money out there you just need to work on locating it. You might even qualify for some grant money too (and they don't have to be repaid). And, depending on your financial status--there are work-study programs available to the kids. I know I had several on work-study as my student assistants over the years.

07-14-2007, 10:55 PM
You are in my thoughts and prayers! Heed the advice of the posters before me. Student Aid office is the best step for right now. And Dave Ramsey is the best advice for right now and later! :laugh:

07-14-2007, 11:26 PM
With the unstable housing market in most parts of the country, it might be a small blessing you aren't able to get an equity loan. I think those that have suggested student loans are what you should be looking at.
Plus, I believe you can get some leverage with these as far as you graduate we will help you repay these loans versus you don't graduate, the loans are yours.
It really is unfortunate that secondary schooling has skyrocketed over the last few years.
In a few years, we will be looking at the same issues.
So, hang in there.
It will work out~!

07-14-2007, 11:38 PM
I am sorry that this wonderful opportunity for your son to go on to college has become such a stressful thing. I completely agree that you should head to/call the financial aid office first thing monday morning. Usually the folks there are so very kind.

I also agree with Andrea...I had to work during my college years, and it was the best thing for me. I still carried a heavy load of classes and work hours (but, I was young, and didn't have to sleep...I'm not like that anymore LOL) and still managed to have lots of fun (ooh...maybe you didn't want to know that part...LOL) met my husband (now of 14 years) as he worked full-time and got his degree too. We were married 2 weeks after my last class ended.

Just don't give up. There are so many ways to do this. And you are in our prayers...
Lots of hugs---

07-15-2007, 01:24 AM
I am afraid that I don't have any advice for you as I don't know how things work over there (Or over here for that matter as it has all changed here over the last few years). But, I will be thinking of you and praying for you - am sure things will work out for you.

07-16-2007, 12:11 PM
Thank you ladies so much for the words of encouragement!
I applied for a parent plus loan, but I have no idea, how, or if, I'll get the loan.
My older two children had their tuitions paid for by the grandparents, so this is the first time I've had to go through all this.
I know I have to take him out on a spending spree, to get all the things he'll need in his new home, away from home.

Oh and who is Dave Ramsey???

07-16-2007, 01:00 PM
Oh Mary,
My heart goes out to you...and I know where you are coming from. I unfortunately was a single Mom of two so I helped my kids with college where I could but I just couldn't pay for it all. So they both ended up with student loans but they are better for it...I think. You know how some kids think that college is just to be one big party (not saying that you son is anything like that...but). For a lot of kids it is really the first time that they have been away from their parents rules and supervision so they really go wild. Well I think that my kids took it more serious knowing that they had to help pay for it themselves.

So don't give up...something will come through. Check with the Student Aid office they usually have great ideas and can point you in the righ direction.
You are in my thoughts and prayers and it will work out...


07-16-2007, 02:39 PM

I couldn't pay for all my daughter's college expenses either. She got students loans at a much lower rate than I could ever gotten. I'll be thinking of you and praying that things work out the best for all of you.